Sydney

Saturday March 15th had been a picture perfect day.  We spent Saturday morning at Ethan's game and then Sydney went home with mom to spend the night and Bailee came over to spend the night with Miah.  The weather was gorgeous, so I loaded up Ethan, Miah, Miles and Bailee and we headed to Clinton Farm to play and enjoy the weather.  We had just gotten there and I was chatting with my sweet neighbor, when my phone rang.  It was Zach saying my mom had called and that Sydney had broken her leg and for us to meet them at the hospital.   I was quite surprised that she was telling me her leg was broken, she was not one to over dramatize and she doesn't usually jump to make a medical diagnosis.  For some reason, I felt that this was probably bigger than I could handle with four kids.  My sweet neighbor took Ethan and Miah, and I headed to the hospital with Miles and Bailee.  When we got there Sydney was pale and quiet in the wheelchair waiting to be examined.  Her leg was swelling it seemed by the minute and I could tell when I looked, that her leg was definitely broken above her knee.  Kim and Tony were with mom, they had scooped Sydney up after she fell and hit a retaining wall, jumping off the trampoline.  Kim and Tony managed to get her in the car and to the hospital.  The nurses at the hospital took us immediately back to the exam room and had to get Sydney out of the wheelchair and into the bed.  At that point I knew this was much more than a cast and discharge.  Sydney was in terrible pain.  Miles was in the room with us, he had not stayed with anyone other than Zach and I since he had been home from China.  I was following all the "attachment rules" although adjustment had been labor intensive with Miles things were going good and I felt "in control" and on the right track with Miles and his attachment and bonding.  In about five seconds all of the control I thought I was hanging onto was riped apart. I took Miles to mom in the waiting room, with no idea when things would get "back to normal".  Sydney needed all of me at this moment and I had to relinquish all the control I felt I had over the situation, and just trust in the Lord.  Moments later, Sydney was x-rayed  and medicated.  The diagnosis was back, she had a complete, unstable fracture and she would have to be transferred via ambulance to Scottish Rite for surgery.  Kim, Tony, and Mom coordinated all the rounding up of the kids and Sydney and I took an ambulance ride down to Scottish Rite with Zach following. Miles went home with my mom for the first time. I was so thankful he had a handful of siblings and cousins to love on him.

We saw the ER physician at Scottish Rite immediately.  They put Sydney in more stable traction and continued to monitor and control her pain.  We were told she would stay in traction all night and have surgery to repair the break on Sunday morning.  We were finally put in a room around 11 Saturday night.  Zach headed home around Midnight and I settled in with Sydney.  Neither of us got much sleep that night.  The weekend before I had attended a wonderful conference called Created for Care.  It is a conference for Mama's with adopted children, but many of the things we took away were just truths and gifts about being a mom of all children. I attended a breakout session called "He Still Walks on Water" about trusting God in the Storms.  Sunday morning at the hospital when I  finally called it "morning". I opened my Bible and there tucked into it, was that study about storms.  I finally just let the tears flow.  I rested in the fact that the Lord knew what was going to happen to sweet Sydney.  This was not a surprise to Him. He was right in the middle of all this and would not leave us for one second.  I looked over at my baby in the hospital bed and thanked God for her and the place we were at and just prayed that somehow out of this the Lord would get glory and that Syd would learn a dependence on the Lord, that could not be taught, that could only come with experience.

That morning around 10, they finally took us down to surgery.  We spoke briefly with the Surgeon, which helped settle my nerves and then began the wait for her to get out of surgery.  Surgery was done in about 3 1/2 hours. Sydney rolled into the room, very sleepy, but she was not hurting.  The Surgeon had placed a plate and 7 screws into my sweet girls leg to repair the fracture.  Oh how I hate this for her.  I would do anything for this to be my leg with screws and plates and not my baby girl at 12 years old. Zach's parents were there, Kim was there, Chris, Sonya and PJ were all there to support us and support Sydney.  At that moment, looking at Sydney, done with her surgery sleeping in the hospital bed, I decided  then and there that no, I didn't have control of the injury, but we could definitely control how we reacted to the accident.  In the big picture, when things are put into perspective it could have been so much worse.  This could have been a spine severed or a skull fractured. This is my time to teach my girl and all my kiddos how we react to hard stuff.

Syd remained in the bed until the next day and then the physical therapist got her up and helped her to the bathroom.  Sydney was in a lot of pain, despite her pain meds but she is healthy and strong and every time up will only get easier.  We were discharged on Tuesday and sent home with a walker and wheelchair.  Looking back, that first week was a blur.  My baby girl that usually is not still for a minute got up only to use the bathroom and move from her bed to the chair.  She needed a lot of pain medicine during that first week, but I could see her getting stronger everyday.  Wednesday of the next week she went back to school for the first time in her wheelchair.  Figuring out the details of all of that in her tiny school was quite challenging, but het teachers were more than accommodating and everyone was glad to see Sydney back.

We are now over 3 weeks out from Syd's surgery. She has advanced from her walker to crutches and is up all over the house.  She has her moments that she is very frustrated with her lack of mobility, but for the most part her attitude is great.  She is my trooper! She is strong and brave and God is shaping and molding her in all of this hard.  I ask her the other day what she had learned from all that she was going through, and true to my Sydney's nature she didn't give me an answer.  After I ask Syd what she was learning, I thought long and hard about what I was learning.  In everything we face I think God is showing me his GRACE is enough.  We can't go through anything that HIS grace doesn't cover.

 Sydney, never in a million years would I have wished this accident on you.  You are my kiddo that likes to be in control.  I think you get that from your mama!  Neither one of us could control this situation and I think I have watched both of us struggle with that a bit.  I wanted to write these details for you so that you could look back at this later and read about this major event in your life and maybe see how God has His hand on you through this.  We may not know the why right now, we may not ever know the why. I know sometimes when you are 12 it is hard to see what God is teaching you in a trial. Mama struggles with that and I am way older than 12.  But God loves you, has a purpose and a plan for you!  Somehow, someway, God will take this crazy, worthless accident and use it for good.  He will teach you from it, and grow you in it.  I can look back in my life, I went through some hard when I was about your age and after many, many years I saw God's hand in all of it.  Hoping that someday in years to come, you will be able to see God's hand in all of this.