Guarding Her Heart...

S is my oldest daughter.  Like it or not she gets to be the one that leads us first into all of this unfamiliar parenting territory.  I remember when my kids were little thinking, about how much I would love it when my kids got school age.  Not that I didn't like the stage they were in, but I was ready for a break from the physical exhaustion, temper tantrums, dirty diapers, etc.  It seems like just yesterday when I had that thought and here I am, all my kids are school age. 

Yes, I am loving that they can be a little more independent.  They can fix themselves a snack, dress themselves, bathe themselves, and on a good day maybe even brush their own teeth! But with all this independence comes these grey areas of parenting.  Now that I am not up at night with a baby, I am awake, wondering about my decisions, praying that we are making the right choices, and that what we want to teach our kids is getting through.

Just this week S and I had a difference of opinion over a book she wanted to read. I had heard of the book and the movie and knew that some of her friends had read the book.  In fact, one of her friends had loaned her the book to read.  I try to make educated decisions about what I choices I make for my kids.  I had originally thought that the book would be okay for S to read.  Her friends mom called me to let me know that her daughter had loaned S the book.  I am so glad my daughter has friends with great parents that are aware of what their children are doing.  I am so thankful she was considerate enough to call and let me know she had loaned S the book.  It is so difficult to monitor the books S is reading.  They don't have ratings and reviews like movies and I don't have time to read every book that she reads before I read them.  Anyway, I did read the first couple of chapters in the above mentioned book and decide that the subject content was way too heavy for my 10 year old.  Trying to explain this too my child was quite challenging.  I love her more than she understands and I am accountable to God for guarding her heart in every way I can for as long as I can. As we were talking God brought to mind the verse..." Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things". Eph 4:8.  I pointed out to her that the content in that book did not fit any of those categories.  Even though we had a few tears, she respected me for my decision, and took the book back to her friend the following morning.  She told me that she told her friend that I thought the book was too sad for her to read, but not to tell anybody.  Oh how I love that girl!  S, I am so proud of how you handled yourself.

I know this is just the beginning handling conflict and differences of opinions with my children.  I know that sometimes I am going to be the only mom in the group who makes the decisions I make. (Ha!, I  just thought peer pressure was over). And sometimes, that is going to be very difficult for me and my children...I just have to remember that I am fighting a battle for my children.  Satan wants to destroy my children. He wants to make them useless and defeated as Christians.  I know that it is really not me fighting this battle, it is Christ through me.  What a great assurance that I do not fight this alone.  I have the God of this universe on my side who loves my children more than I ever could. So I will seek to  continually lift them up in prayer, do everything I can to guard their hearts and minds from the enemy, and teach them what is right and true. Lord take my insuffiencey,my flawed parenting, and the mess that I make of things and somehow use me to guard my children's hearts and minds so they will see YOU clearly.  I just have to remember through all the daily difficulty that I am fighting a battle. Satan wants to conquer my family, but we have the God of the universe on our side and we already know HE will arise victorious!!!!!