Humbled

I have been a Christian for 25 years and just when you think you've got this thing figured out, God just up and shows out again and all you can do is be humbled. For so many years I have struggled about where I fit in Christian ministry. I'm not a pastors wife, a missionary, a Sunday school teacher, a ministry leader or anything of the sort. I am a nurse by profession, but I have always felt the call to something more. I have always felt that I should be more more involved in ministry, but just haven't found a place where I really felt I needed to be. That being said, I have always thought fondly of adoption and at one time, after my middle son though we might adopt a child as our third. I briefly looked into it then dismissed it because international adoption was very expensive. After we were blessed with our 3rd biological child I felt we were done with pregnancy, newborns etc. I was very satisfied with this decision and felt like this was God's plan for me. Along with that decision, God began to move very quietly in my heart that this was not the end of my family. I didn't really share it with anyone it just grew in my heart, deep down I had no idea that I would ever be able to convince Z that adoption was God's plan for us. Then it happened! The miracle that let me know that God was in control of this thing and not me! God began to move in z's heart about adoption. The man that 10 years ago would have been completely satisfied with one child, gave me the go ahead to start the paperwork for adoption, making this child number 4. When God changes s heart, he doesn't do it halfway! I have been able to see that in Z and it has been such a blessing. Now for the changes in this mama! I can't even begin to write about how he has changed my heart since we finally moved in obedience to God. I have learned first hand that when He calls, he not only calls, but he equips. I'm not even talking about material stuff. I am talking about making my heart so excited about our adoption that I can't stand it! Putting this desire in me and making it match the call in my heart so perfectly, that I know it can only be from Him. I don't know how to explain this in words it is just something about God who created my heart and the longing and desires of my heart and my personality to go right along with that. Knowing me better than anyone in this world and then calling me to what he made me for and then me hearing His call and saying yes. The match doesn't get anymore perfect. He created my heart for this call and at the same time planted this desire in my heart. What a perfect God we serve! I'm sure glad God doesn't just call us to things. He creates us, gives us a heart and a desire for what he wants us to do, and then He calls us to do it!! Whooooo! Makes me want to shout!!! So glad I serve a God like that!