A Good Reminder from something I wrote 10 Years Ago

I came across this blog post from 10 years ago.  So many things have changed, but so many things are still the same.  I have settled into my role as a mama, and the kids aren't so little and physically challenging anymore.  We are sleeping through the night and looking both ways when we cross the street.  We have new challenges and obstacles.  Mama tired looks different than it did 10 years ago, but one thing doesn't change.  I don't need more of anything this world has to offer to make me a better mama.  I just need the Lord. I need to desperately need Him and to need Him to show up every second of my day.  Father, help me never to get so comfortable in this role of being "Mama" that I am longing for You to guide my every move and every thought.  Good reminder from 10 years ago! Lord don't make me too comfortable that I am not desperate for You!!!!!

Last Wednesday night at church I had one of those "moments" I would rather forget. After totally losing it with my kids (at chruch), I came home put the kids to bed, cried, prayed, journaled (this did not get posted), and feeling defeated I went to bed. The next morning I felt better, with new energy and determination I made a chore list for the kids and had a family meeting "we are going to do things different" was the theme. We were devoted to this for about 2 days and now 1 week later, the chore list is old news on the refrigerator and we are back to the same old struggles.

I just come back to the same conclusions. Life is hard! Raising children is hard! I think harder than I ever imagined. Sometimes Zach and I will have those days when we think, "What have we gotten ourselves into?" Please do not misunderstand what I am saying. I love my children more than I ever knew I could love someone or something. I think that is just it, never has something mattered more in my life, never have a had a passion about anything more than I have passion about my children. Children just bring out raw emotion, because we love them with everything we have in us.

All this to say that --oh how I need the Lord, not just to know about Him or of Him, but to intimately know Him every day. How I need to depend on Him for every decision. How I need to go to Him when I am frustrated with life and how hard it is. Oh how easy it is not to do this.
How satan wants to steal my joy and make me uneffective. How he wants me to think "I cannot do this, I am not a good mom, I am miserable with my kids, or I have got the most difficult kids in the world!!!" All these are lies that Satan uses on me when I am not seeking the Lord daily!!!

As I watch my children, I see them constantly wanting to be independent. To do things on their own and to seek their own way. When I think of my relationship with God I see how easy it is to slip back into this mindset. It comes to us naturally. We have to work against this, to seek total dependence on God, for Him to guide us daily.

As I look at the old chore list on the fridge, God is telling me, quit worrying about specifics with the kids, what you are doing, not doing. It is not about getting it exactly right, or about making all the right parenting decisions. It is about totally depending on me, trusting me with every decision, praying for my children and for myself as I try to show my kids my relationship with Christ.

Cross country

These girls are having so much fun in Cross country this season !!! 

August

Just like that, August has come and gone.   We are getting back into the swing of school days and busy schedules.   E is playing football and M is doing Cross Country.  S has a crazy academic load that is keeping her busy, M is looking forward to some clubs that he will be participating in.  It is hard to believe that this is the 3rd year in our new school system, so I guess new isn't really the correct term.  I am still struggling with employment.... one of the hardest things about this move. I plan on making a change in the near future... Z has taken on a new teaching position at the city high school. He is learning all about the world of teaching and the hard work and challenges that go along with it.  We are enjoying a little rest over the Labor Day weekend, but with hit the ground running next week after the holiday.  I am trying to get back into writing more often.  I definitely miss it and miss looking back over my blog posts.  Hoping to get some pictures downloaded with this post soon!

Spring 2018 Update Count Down to Summer

We have been in our new little town for over a year.  In someways it seems we have been here much longer, but other things still seem new and very foreign.  Sometimes I wonder if it will ever feel like "home".  The hard part is that we have been gone from our old home so long that it is not really "home" either,  so on the days that are cloudy and cold, I feel like I don't really belong anywhere.  Then the sun comes out and things feel a little better, more familiar, more friendly.  I am learning that maybe we aren't supposed to get too comfortable anywhere in this life. Our real home is heaven and until we get to where we truly belong, there will be cold, cloudy, lonely days regardless of what our earthly address is.

The kids have settled into school and I am not so settled in a school nurse job that is not at my children's schools.  The hours are working good, but the pay is little, the liability is huge.  Five days a week has been quite an adjustment for me...an ongoing adjustment.  I am hanging in there and counting down the days until summer break.  We just have 21 days left and then 9 weeks of summer to spend with my kiddos.  All of those long weeks will be worth it, when I get to be with my children all summer.  Sydney finished up her track season and Ethan just finished soccer.  Miah is playing soccer this spring and her schedule is keeping her busy.  Miles is interested in music and I am hoping to get him started with lessons this summer along with some swim lessons at our local pool.

Our church is keeping us busy too.  Zach is helping with the youth and I am helping in the church nursery as needed on Sunday nights.  The big kids have youth on Sunday night and the littles love children's church on Sunday morning. I am enjoying going to the Well once a month on Monday nights.  It is a ladies ministry from our church that has worship and a speaker.  Regardless of the topic, I always come home feeling refreshed and renewed.

We travel back to D'ville some.  There are always things going on there with family and friends that I want to be a part.  It definitely changes your perspective on things when you move out of town, away from friends and family.  I miss my mom, but I talk to her daily.  I really miss the people that I saw all the time, at church or at family stuff.  They were not people that I really ever called or reached out to, but I paths crossed weekly and I miss seeing people  who say"hey Mandy, or what are you up to?". I miss people that know our story and know all about us.  I miss knowing my kids friends parents and not having anxiety when they visit someones house.   I greatly underestimated and took for granted those things when I live among people I had known forever.

Before this gets to be a really negative post let me talk about some things I love in this new little place we call home.  I love that it is little.  There isn't much traffic (on our terms, anyway) really anywhere we go. There might be a little traffic on the way to Walmart, but otherwise not much waiting around in this little town.  I like our  neighborhood and the fact that everyone knows their neighbors around this place.  The kids in the neighborhood have made Ethan, Miah, and Miles feel right at home.  We have kids around our house all the time.  That has been an adjustment, but I love having the kids in and out all the time.  Sydney has connected with a few girls at the high school and I think slowly she is beginning to adjust.

I cannot wait to spend the summer with the kiddos!!!! Updates to come soon!!

New Beginnings

This is hilarious and fitting that I don't have a picture of our new home.  That is so typical.  Ok, guess I need to back up a bit...

After 10 months with our house on the market last year and not an offer, we pulled our house off the market and started the school year as 9th, 7th, 4th, and K5 grades.  Moving to just a little west of our area or a little north of our area was just not meant to be for us.  We invested in our schools and the school year thinking that was where we were going to be for the next couple years.  Then comes fall...

What a crazy couple of months. Long story short after a series of 3 interviews and about 8 weeks my husband was offered a job as Police Chief in a small town about 2 hours from where we were currently living.  After much prayer and talking and praying and thinking and praying we decided that he should take the position.  Once the decision was made, the wheels started to turn.  They wanted him to start within 2 weeks.  So he turned in his notice at the place he had worked for 20 years and started his new position the first of December.  

After 2 months of living in separate places and trying to make that work, we decided to go ahead and move and change the kids school mid-year.  This was a really hard decision, but we just felt the benefits of being together as a family outweighed any difficulty of moving mid year.  So here we are. We have been in our new place for 4 weeks.  It still really seems like a new place, but we are getting a little more settled everyday.  The Lord has confirmed over and over to us that this is where we need to be and  where He wants us to do ministry.  

Wow!  That was way oversimplified, it has definitely not been that easy.  We have pulled up roots that are 40 years deep. Sometimes it still just feels like we are visiting and we are going to go back home and things get back to normal again.  But we are slowly finding our new normal.  God is giving me peace and showing me that when all the comforts and familiarly are stripped away, that sometimes we can see His face a little more clearly and that may be exactly what I need in this season of life.  More details to come....and a picture of our new house

Always behind

Summer flew by and we moved right back into a new school year.  We had our house on the market almost the whole school year last year and didn't sell.  We had originally thought we would start this year in the Bremen area, but that didn't materialize, so we are still at our same schools and trusting in God's plan.  I will never catch up this blog, but I am determined to keep on blogging and writing, regardless of how "behind" I am.  A few late pictures are better than no pictures. 

 First day of school....K5,  4th, 7th, and 9th

Miah's 10th birthday.  A "glamping" sleepover, with lots of special friends

Syd made her Freshman Volleyball team and now she is Swimming for her high school swim team

Miah and Ethan both played fall soccer.  I just didn't get a picture of Ethan...I am so bad with pictures

Miles is loving his K5 class.  He is doing awesome and happy to go to school everyday!!

Fun day at the zoo with friends!!!

Can't believe it is already November.  As it always does, the school year is flying by.  BIG changes are coming for our crew and I will blog more when I can catch my breath and can even put it to pen.  Just posting all of these sweet pictures makes me sad to think about the changes, but they have been covered in prayer and God has moved mountains to speak affirmation to us concerning these changes.   He has never left us and He not going to start now.  Details to come soon!!!!

Summer begins...